ahh sighs i have to make this a short post as well, not much time left.

parents are supposed to be understanding. if only if that was the case. ahh just forget it. shall not elaborate. bleahhs these few days have been boring. except my birthday, which was better. (: yupps i'm now 14. hahas yeah but there's too much pressure placed to birthdays, so when it doesn't live up to your expectation, well... never mind. at least the gifts were better. (:

i have to cut this short. remember the camp i went for loong loong ago? yeahs it was supposed to be really boring, but it was nice! hahas it was a learning experience, plus made some new friends too hahas. (: wow i'm really getting cheerful. just hope this can keep up! (: byes!

okay i'm gonna make this really short. i'm really sorry but recently i haven't felt like posting or just didn't have the time. so i promise to make a longer post one of these days okays? hahas and yeah i'm becoming less emo cos it's my wish and and a promise to others. maybe if i have time, which i reaally doubt it, i'll change the blogskin. IF. (: hahas yupp really have been cheering up recently but if there is an occasionally emo post please forgive me okays? ><

yupps okay thats all for now. will really tryto post asap. byes! (:

ive fallen so hard for you.

i dont know how to pick myself up again.

i would give it all up for you.

and youve stolen my heart.

give me a sign.

i dont know what to do.

i want to hold you in my arms forever.

and ever.

and to never let go.

please.

just love me like i love you.

i need you.

i want you.

what i would give to see you.

what i would give to hold you.

i dont know how you feel.

but i just wish you knew how i feel.

without you,

i am nothing.

its been really boring recently, so havent been posting. yupps some of you would be happy anyway so it doesnt matter i suppose.

erm went for physics remedial today. it seemed so... simple. bleahhs im not showing of but... i did uber badly for the test, and i suppose it was cos i didnt study. not much. well i guess its easier to me now cos i actually rmbr the formulas and it involves maths, so it easy i guess.

and im going off for some church retreat so probably wont post til... monday. i doubt my absence will be felt so you dont care but for the rare few who actually will ask where did calvin go, yeah this is for you.

give me something to believe in, cause i don't believe in you, anymore, anymore. i wonder if it even makes a difference to try, yeah, so this is goodbye.

i know you told me. im getting out of your sight and dont worry. i wont regret it. and if you read this and actually give a damn, help me tell that person im sorry. sincerely.

like i said, the regret wont sink in, and even if you call me a coward, well thats just too bad for me. its none of your fucking business.

i held my arms open for you, waiting. but you never came.

shall make this a short one, i have a splitting headache so i have to sleep earlier. bleahh.

ive been thinking about my emo-ness, whether actually it is natural or something that makes me more abnormal than i already am. its seems unavoidable, i try not to be emo but i never seem to be happy for more than a few days. yea sometimes i can be rather cheerful, more optimistic. but after a while i turn all emo again. its like... it cant be helped. i try to run away, but i catchs up with me time after time. again. its like a daily routine. like when i go to school, im rarely emo around my friends, or at least i think i have friends. the mood is so... contagious. its impossible to be emo, even if for some freak reason i wanted to be.

and thats what i am. a freak.

sigh. havent posted for a few days cos my stupid com crashed. and my dad keeps on blaming it on my dls cos they take up too much space. it was my fault, alright? i shifted files when the torrent program was still running. he doesnt even listen to whatever i say, its just probably an excuse to get me to stop dling my 'nonsense'. what crap is that. sigh its been rather boring this few days so it doesnt matter anyway. heres a quiz i found from dewins blog.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 50% Stability 33% Orderliness 16% Accommodation 43% Interdependence 56% Intellectual 23% Mystical 36% Artistic 30% Religious 50% Hedonism 16% Materialism 56% Narcissism 30% Adventurousness 63% Work ethic 10% Self absorbed 63% Conflict seeking 56% Need to dominate 50% Romantic 76% Avoidant 36% Anti-authority 50% Wealth 43% Dependency 50% Change averse 56% Cautiousness 36% Individuality 63% Sexuality 70% Peter pan complex 43% Physical security 70% Physical Fitness 57% Histrionic 50% Paranoia 56% Vanity 30% Hypersensitivity 76% Indie 43%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

traits: messy, irritable, depressed, fragile, worrying, emotionally sensitive, does not like to lead, phobic, weird, suspicious, low self control, paranoid, frequently second guesses self, dependent, unproductive, introverted, weak, strange, unassertive, submissive, familiar with the dark side of life, feels invisible, rash, vain, anti-authority, heart over mind, low self concept, disorganized, not good at saving money, avoidant, daydreamer, unadventurous

heh. i guess the results are kinda true. most of it anyway.